“Covering the depth of our
brokenness clouds the depth of God’s love for us"
-Frank powell
We have officially moved in to our
house! Its so nice to finally have our own place, doing our own thing. We don’t
have living room furniture yet, and we are currently using a charcoal stove,
and no electricity but next summer I would like to come home again and work, so
that we can buy some of the items we are missing! A work in progress.
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| Living room |
 |
| Kitchen-Water Filter |
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| Spare Room |
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| Luka's Room |
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| Our room |
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| Toilet |
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| Shower |
Sifeli’s youngest brother,
Luka, moved in with us this week. Sifeli had to talk to his aunt (who Luka was
living with) in order for his 20 year old brother to be able to move in. Luka
wantedto move in with us because his aunt wouldn’t feed him. He was eating at
his sister’s place every day, or we
would give him money to buy something to eat. I am really trying to turn over a
new leaf, one where I stop judging people, stop giving conditional love, and
try to be like Jesus to those around me, but it was really hard to love this
women after I heard this. I couldn’t understand why a women who goes to church
every Sunday could be so cruel to her nephew, a nephew who has no where else to
go. My first thoughts are to dislike this woman, my frist thoughts are to keep
Aiden away from her, to think that she must be the worst kind of person, but the truth is its just more evidence of a
culture missing Jesus. Satan has provided the perfect lie for these people, one
where everyone goes to church every Sunday to pray thinking that is all the is
needed to know God, then spends the rest of the week lying, cheating,
gossiping, sleeping around, collecting many wives or being a man’s other wife.
Their aunt didn’t want Luka to come live with us, Sifeli had to talk to her
twice and suggest getting both sides of their parent’s families together for
her to finally agree. Haivng Luka has
been a blessing. He adores Aiden and Aiden him. He will take Aiden out for
walks visiting relatives, while I can wash dishes, or clothes, or clean the
house. He helps light the fire, helps cook, and is currently trying to learn
English. I am excited about the opportunity to show him Jesus, he is young and
not married to many women yet, maybe there is still a chance for him!
The children from Sunrise
went to their homes on Saturday the 6th of December. Two of the
boys’ families never came to pick them up and it always breaks my heart when
this happens. You can always see the hurt in these kids’ eyes when no one comes
to claim them, kills me every time. We waited until around noon and still no
one showed so I took the two boys up in the Polaris to deliver then to their
families. No one was home at either place and so we went to my house they
helped me wash some of Aiden’s diapers and then I took them to have chipsi mayai
and soda, then returned to Site until early evening when we would try again.
The next morning Sifeli
needed to buy some nails or something for the house so I opened my wallet to
give him money, and noticed a significant amount of money was missing. (I had
taken out money to take Aiden to DAR to the doctor for his 6 month check up.) I
counted the money and realized around $100 was missing. I thought maybe I had
thought I took out more but hadn’t, so I went to site where the internet is
better to look at my bank account. I had indeed taken the money out, so someone
had stolen it. I tried to retrace all of my steps from the previous day but
couldn’t remember a time where I left my bag somewhere that someone could steal
from me.
The next day, Monday, the
kids from Site came to work in the shamba for a few hours. Two of the boys, the
two who I had spent Saturday with, came with new cell phones and were listeing
to music. One boy said that his sister gave him 100,000 shillings (which is a
HUGE SUM OF MONEY HERE). Word came back to Gerusa and I and we got suspicious.
We drove around Monday evening trying to figure out the truth about the money.
We finally tracked down the one boys sister and asked her about the money.
Sadly she said that her brother was a liar she had never given him that money.
Other children in the village were saying the boys had said they stole the
money from site. The truth eventually came out that one of the boys had taken
the money out of my wallet, and in a day had spent all of it. We had a meeting
the next mornig with the one boy, his sister, her husband, and the Aunt he is
staying with (who turn out is also Sifeli’s aunt, so my aunt as well). He
admitted that he took the money out of my wallet and we discussed what was to
be done. We know that this situation has to be treated very seriously, and we
are honestly at a loss as to what needs to be done. We decided they would have
to work off the money that they stole, and that the one boy may receive a
suspension from Sunrise. I want to leak Jesus in this situation and I am
praying for the wisdom to do so. Already the boys are shying away from me and
shame is written across their faces, and I am trying to show them love still
and telling them I forgive them. It’s such a hard situation and everyone is at
a loss as to how to handle it, we know that we can’t just “sweep this
situation” under the rug.
Kay has told one of the
boys that he can work at her house and she will pay him and he is to pay me
back the money that he makes. We will be getting all of the money that was
stolen returned. As well as both boys and their families will meet with the village chief and the head of our advice committee.
Being a mom has been a
blessing; getting the chance to love on this little life that I created, that I
carried for 8 months, and now can’t imagine my life with out him. He is getting so big go fast, its hard to
remember that at one time he was only 3lbs! My almost 7 month old baby is
wearing 9 month clothes already! He is now eating food; potatoes, dark leafy
greens, bananas, and porridge are among the favorites right now. I can tell he
misses the kids because whenever we see other children he gets very excited and
his face lights up!
“I could see it so clearly, and I
could feel it in the pages of my life. This was the thing that had smelled so
rotten all these years. I used love like money. The church used love like
money. With love, we withheld affirmation from the people who did not agree
with us, but we lavishly financed the ones who did…It was clear that I was to
love everybody, be delighted in everyone’s existence, and I had fallen miles
short of God’s aim…instead of withholding love to change somebody, I poured it
on. Lavishly. I hoped that love would work like a magnet, pulling people from
the mire and toward healing. I knew that this is the way God loved me. God had
never withheld love to teach me a lesson…I loved the fact that it wasn’t my
responsibility to change somebody, that it was God’s, that my part was just to
communicate love and approval.”
-Donald Miller
My heart continues to
break for the people around me here. Someone close to us has impregnated 4
women at the same time, he already has one wife and two children. All of these
women are aware that he had a wife and children ad yet they still decided to
have a relationship with him. One of the girls lives in this very village. It
just hurts my heart to see these women making these kinds of choices, having no
idea of their own worth; taking the place as wife number two or three or so on,
not realizing that they are worth so much more.
All of this made me realize some
things about myself. I had been searching for what I was missing in all the
wrong places. I was trying to get what I needed from Sifeli, but the cold hard
truth is that he doesn’t have what I am searching for. He is human and he will always let me down,
but God, he is trying to get my attention, trying to offer me all the things
that I am searching for, that I am hurting for, all the things that I am
desperate for. God is the only one who can fill that empty place in my heart,in
all of our hearts. I love Sifeli and I love this place we live in, but I was
letting all the things he couldn’t give me blind me from all the things God has
to offer me, and in return that he has
asked me to offer other people. I have this opportunity to love these people
and bring them Jesus and I was letting my own baggage block me from giving
something that was never mine to keep. I was keeping them from Jesus.
"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you."
-John 15:16
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