Not Just Statistics

Sunrise:
The children returned the second week of January! They were very excited to get to play with Aiden again, and surprised at how much he has grown. I think the most exciting thing to them is that Aiden can now eat ugali. (Ugali is the maze flower-white paste that they eat.) (I was hoping he would be American in the ugali department but he likes it.) We have a new volunteer from Austria! Her name is Carina, and she is 23 years old. She will be with us for 3 months! The kids are also getting bigger and older. We now have one child in secondary school (Jeneti), two kids in seventh grade (Tumpe, Elenesta), two kids in sixth grade (Hosea, Elia), eight kids in fifth grade (Ima, Franki, Nickson, Akwirino, Ziada, Eliza, Priska, Elisha), two kids in fourth grade (Yona, Lukemelo), one kid in third grade (Sesilia), and two kids in second grade (Halima, Atukuzwe). We will possibly soon be adding another child to our home. His name is Vincent, and it has been brought to our attention that his living conditions are horrible. His father died (most likely of AIDS), and his mothe re-married and per this culture can not take her children from the previous marriage into the next. This little boy who is in second grade, lives with his grandmother. Two of the committee members (our chairman and translator, now my uncle and cousin) and myself will be going to the home to interview the family. It could be a sensitive subject so please be praying that God's will for this little boy will be done.

Villagers Life Continued...
I have recently learned on many occasions that if I leave either the front or the back door open, Chickens will come in. They just waltz right in and poop on my floor. On one occasion i went into the living room and there were about six of them just hanging out. This is Africa.

Aiden:
Aiden is now the big age of 8 months old. He is almost 8 kilos (7.8) which is roughly 17LBS. He can sit on his own and is now trying to move around. He tries to crawl but he preferes to pull up on things. He is trying to stand on his own, and sometimes he is successfull for a few seconds. He has a very Tanzanian diet and I am wondering how he will react to America food! He eats the following foods;Potatoes, Ugali, Rice, Avocado, banana, mango, pasta, dark leafy greens, carrots, local fruit, bread, chipsi (french fries), eggs, and bean juice. He is an eater. I try to share my food with him but this boy can eat. He might have to get his own food sooner rather than later! With the money my parents sent for Christmas we were able to buy Aiden one of those toys they can sit in with wheels and their feet touch the floor. We set him in and hear him moving around the house. 

Aiden getting weighed in the Tanzanian fashion.

House/Sifeli:
We are slowly adding things to the house. We now have windows for our bedroom instead of the plastic/tarp material in the rest of the hoouse. We are going to buy Sifeli a pikipiki (motorcycle) so that we can start generating some income on our own. Its potato harvesting time and if you have a piki piki you are valuable. As well as being able to take people between villages (like a taxi). We are deciding how much we will have to make to finish the rest of the house and still have money left over to live off of. (After we work this summer in the states.)



Me:

I still struggle with lots of things here, living in another culture VASTLY different than my own. And most of it comes with raising a child in a new culture. I worry about him constantly when he is not with me (or the kids at site). I worry about him going to visit people in their homes and sitting in rooms filled with smoke, I worry about dirty hands, kisses from strangers, sickness, fungus, playing in the dirt with other village children, and other ridiculous things. I worry and then I remember its a sin to worry. I remember that while I love my son there is someone else who loves him more than i could ever imagine. I remember that I can't make a difference, I can't show these people Jesus by hiding in my house all day. I like the way Katie Davis writes it in her book 'Kisses from Kate':

"...I remembered that Jesus touched lepers... I was always quick to open my home, but a few days after realizing how sick our new friends were or being criticized by other "good" parents, fear would sneak in and I would wonder is i truly was being irresponsible. The answer always came quickly and simply, "I sent My Son," the father would breathe through my spirit. "Whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake..." I realized I still had to be obedient to what God had asked me to do. even though He was expanding my family. I knew the desire to protect my children was God given, but that at the end of each day, this father who loved them even more than I did would be their protector."

In the times when Aiden is sleeping, and the guys are working elsewhere, I feel entitled to some free time, but everyday kids (nieces and other village kids) come to my house in those moments. I usually ignore them outside or send them away, but then I always feel slightly guilty. When did Jesus ever say that it was acceptable to send people away so that I could have some free time? I feel strongly that the way to showing these people Jesus is through their children. Is by opening my home and letting them play with Aiden's toys, or read the many books I have on my shelves, or feeding them snacks, by letting them in and loving them first. Being selfish is not the key, Jesus is not there in the "all about Courtney" show. Everyday I want to rid me of myself and let Jesus in, because I cannot do it on my own, I can only do it by being filled with him.

 

The Hard Stuff:
Some really sad things have occurred recently in Uhekule. A women had her baby, that she apparently did not want, and so after she had the baby at home she put the baby in a bag and left it to die. Another women's husband did not believe the baby she was carrying was his and she had a miscarriage at 3 months and the baby was dumped in their toilet (not sure the story around this circumstance). And my heart just breaks. It breaks for the women, and it breaks for the children, it just plain breaks. I would rather a newborn baby be dropped off at our house for us to find a placement for. I want to reach out to these hurting women, and give them alternatives, give them another option, a safe place that they can turn to. My heart just hurts to hear these stories so close to home especially when something could have been done.

A man died a week ago, leaving behind a wife and 5 kids. He was farely young so the cause was most likely AIDS. The oldest son is in seconday school (like middle school) and he is brilliant. He tested the highest in the entire region for his national exams. His name is Solum. Sadly Solum will not see another day of school. Not only can they financially not afford to continue to send him with his father gone, but he is now the man of the house and is responsible for the 4 younger siblings. This brilliant boy who has so much going for him, will now be stuck in the village being a farmer. His story is not just one story, his story is many poeple's stories. The thing is these people dying of AIDS in Tanzania are not just statistics in a country in Africa anymore; they're friends, family, neighbors, they're heart-breakingly real. The truth is that they I should always have known these people are real, but now seeing it, now feeling the heartbreak, now seeing the grief of these people makes it hard to ignore. Putting names and faces to the stories makes it impossible to just see them as statistics again.

 I want to be the kind of Jesus loving freak that gives and gives and when there is nothing left to give, gives more. I want to do it humbly and for the Glory of God. I believe that God has placed me here in Uhekule not for me, but so that he could reach his people here through me. I feel like i will never be ready to be this light for him, i stumble daily. I fall off the narrow path more times in a week than I can count, I feel like I always put myself first, or when I do give to someone else its after first saying no, and then feeling convicted, and then having a conversation with God, and then I give. I am by no means perfect, I struggle every day, and the importance of acknowledging this is that I know that without Jesus I am nothing.

I was talking to the Doctor in the village about the children (ages 0- 5years) that come to the clinic every month. They come get weighed, get shots if needed, and then go home. I was wondering what happens to the ones who are underweight? Who aren't getting enough nutrients or their mother's milk supply isn't enough. She said they don't have anything to give them. Then i remember that Corrinne (the volunteer who i was connected to in coming here) had tried to set up a program for those kids. There were two problems that i remember that were preventing this program; one is no where to cook (I have a house in the village) and the other one was no one long term was here to run it (again problem solved). So on the 23rd of this month i am going to the clinic and we are going to record how many children are in need of this sort of program. I feel that the women and children are where my heart is, and what better way to begin a relationship than by providing them with what they need to take care of their babies. 


*One of Kay's churches in America is doing a fundraiser for Sunrise. We discussed it and feel that the proceeds will go to Solum, so he can continue his education.